The Insanity That Is NaNoWriMo

November is the month of Christmas decorations appearing in shops, moustaches, Thanksgiving (if you live in America/are married to one), bad weather and it's also the month when thousands of people around the world sit down to attempt banging out a novel.  

The name?    NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month)
The aim?       To write a 50,000 word novel in just 30 days
The reason?  Insanity

Don't get me wrong.  I'm doing it this year too.  I'll admit insanity quite happily, to quote Disney's Alice In Wonderland;

You're completely bonkers, but I'll tell you a secret.  All the best people are.

I watched last November as my husband not only completed the goal but exceeded it to 80,000 words!  And it was crazy but definitely seemed like something I wanted to attempt as well.  So this year I've gotten stuck into the whole business and so far it seems to be going well (*knock on wood and hope I haven't jinxed myself*).  But trying to figure out where to go and what to write proved far more difficult than I thought it would.

I spent the week leading up to November thinking about one story and then on the day before it started switched to something different.  With the roughest of guidelines in my head (and on a random scrape of paper that I'm guarding for dear life) I've got an idea where I'm going, but day one was worrying to say the least.

Due to commitments outside of NaNo I didn't have time to sit and write until 8 o'clock in the evening.  With just four hours to try and hit my minimum target of 1,667 words for the day I was anxious.  But once I got past that first hurdle known as paragraph one everything seemed to flow, thankfully.  That first paragraph is definitely the most stressful I think, any reader will tell you that if the first page doesn't grab them chances are they won't read the rest of the story.  The less commonly known statistic is that most readers make up their mind about a story within the first few sentences.  How's that for pressure?

But despite all the nerves and confusion NaNoWriMo does something wonderful, it brings people who love to write together in a huge global community and gives support to what is usually a very lonely activity.  I've already met some interesting and fun people through NaNo and it's only day three, can't wait to see what the rest of this month will bring in terms of inspiration, people and experiences.

Fair dues to all my compatriots taking part in NaNoWriMo this year and good luck reaching at elusive goal.  

 

Oh Makeup How I Miss You!

Why is it so hard to figure out a good skincare routine?!
I've spent years trying different products with varied degrees of success and I still don't know what to answer when someone asks me what skin type I have.  I've never been able to afford to get a proper analysis/facial/whatever done so it's my best guess.  A little over a month ago my doctor (finally) diagnosed the acne-like rash on my face as Rosacea and told me that while I'm taking the medication to get rid of it I can't wash it with anything or put moisturiser on it, let alone make up.  Then a few weeks ago still advice to amended to include "nothing but water on your face". 
It's driving me mad because without moisturiser my skin is drying out and I can practically feel the build up of stuff that I'm normally washing off my face twice daily.  Luckily if the urge to just were a mask around hits it's festival season here in Galway so most people will probably think I'm promoting something, instead of just being loopy.
I don't even want to know what reaction a dermatologist would have to my skin at the moment.  But once I get the all clear I'm splurging on a proper facial and hopefully get some solid advice on what products to use on my skin.
Though this has reawakened my love of amazing Arabic eye make-up.  It's such a mysterious and sultry look...in fact I'm pretty sure they had a bit about it in the second Sex And The City movie...  I'm really looking forward to when I can play with all my make-up again and try out some of the gorgeous tutorials that people have shared with this.  Though I suffer(ed) with the same heavy handedness that most people do when it comes to eye-liner; "I'll just fix that, and that, and that..."

Right In The Feels!

You ever watch a film that punches you in the gut with emotion?  That drags you, sometimes against your will, into caring and rooting for a character that you might not have started out liking?  This has happened a few times with me but my most recent example is a good, solid film called Chappie about a robot that comes alive.
A robot given life; it's a common sci-fi troupe.  Star Wars had C3PO and R2D2, Star Trek had Data and Chappie has Chappie.  If you gets the chance to watch this film please do.  I was reluctant because the idea I had in my head of what the film was about was something completely different to what I got.  And I couldn't be happier.
Yes, some dialogue could have been tighter and the acting could have been sharper in points but for emotional blackmail of the highest order this film is gold.  By the end of the movie I was rooting for characters that I seriously disliked from the beginning and the villain is so convinced of his own righteousness that you're left a little agog at his actions. 
Instead of an already established A.I. you get to see Chappie learn how to talk, paint and interact...being led by probably some of the worst people you could think of.  A South African robot gangsta was completely unexpected for me and that seemingly ridiculous idea is superbly executed.  Humour mixed with emotional "Aww" moments topped up with threats against the characters deliver a movie experience that has me kicking myself for not going to see this in cinemas. 
Hugh Jackman running around with a gun wearing shorts had me cracking up until he pulled some shocking behaviour that left me blinking in surprise.  Dev Patel just completely owns the role of a "nerd" who is driven and committed.  Die Antwoord members Ninja and Yo-Landi are really surprisingly good as Chappie's parents (of all things) and whose characters have a nice growth arc through the film.  And just to add the delicious icing on the top of a great cast Sigourney Weaver puts in one of her trademark solid performances as the owner of the company who makes the robots! 
Funny, charming, surprising and oh so emotional I really am glad I watched this and hope to introduce it to others in the future.  The only words I could utter when the credits rolled were "That was a fucking good movie!"

What's More Important?

Which is more important; justice or vengeance?  The balcony collapse in Berkeley, California that killed six students has been at the front of everyone's mind recently.  The fear that gripped so many families as we waited to hear if is was our child/brother/sister/cousin that had been injured or killed is still fresh in our minds.  The heartache we feel for those families who've had to travel to the US to claim the body of their loved one and those that are even now sitting next to bedsides in hospitals over there waiting for the all clear is never far from our thoughts.  And now it's been reported that Berkeley PD aren't going to conduct a criminal investigation into the tragedy.
Emotions are high and someone will be out for blood.  It's a human trait, the need to see some kind of justice for such a loss.  But would it be justice or could this feeling be more simply described as vengeance?  I don't condemn vengeance, I can be a pretty vengeful person myself if someone I love is hurt.  Hearing that there wasn't going to be a criminal investigation didn't actually register with me until my husband commented "Oh dear."  And that got me thinking.
When The New York Times published an article that shone a negative light on the J1 visa programme the internet, radio & news stations all lit up with outraged comments.  The righteous anger was well and truly alive at the callous disregard shown by the publication towards the horrific ordeal many families were (and still are) going through.  Personally I think that the Times were far too quick to bring something like that up mere days after the tragedy.  So now I'm trying to figure out how people might react to the recent news that the Berkeley police are refraining from an active investigation.
With the announcement that emergency legislation is going to be brought in by the city of Berkeley are people going to be satisfied?  I don't think so.  Young lives were lost and families shattered by criminal neglect as far as I'm concerned so I think that some form of justice is required.  Which brings me back to my first question; justice or vengeance?  I hope that justice will win out and some form of recompense will be delivered to those families that are heartbroken and grieving, but the potential for vengeance is there and with emotions so high it's hard to tell the difference between them.
Personally my thoughts and prays are with those families who need them most now and while I breathed a sigh of relief when I heard that my own cousin hadn't been involved I still remember that fear.  Those few moments between when you hear the news and have someone tell you that the person you're thinking of is okay are like a bucket of ice water dumped over you.  May some form of comfort find those families who didn't get that phone call that said "I'm okay" and may a tragedy like this never occur again.

FanFiction = The Playground For Your Imagination

I enjoy reading fanfiction.  It's not something many people will admit but I love it.  You know why?  Cause it's a platform that gives everyone the opportunity to play with someone else's toys. 
You have to admire that imagination and will to share ideas with others.   Not everyone who writes fanfiction is a good writer, but similarly not every fanfiction story is badly written either.  You'd be surprised at how in-depth and detailed some stories are.  And the internet is the merry-go-round that is used to share these ideas with the world.
Some people just need that little encouragement to put their own story out there and I think fanfiction is a great medium for that.  It let's them play with already established and beloved characters while they and the reader indulge in a bout of make believe as they write.
In a world where you're always hoping your favourite TV shows will have a crossover episode or two the realm of fanfiction allows for that fix of fantasy.  I've read stories of Dorothy Gale landing in Middle Earth instead of Oz, of Harry Potter being raised by goblins and of the Buffy crew duking it out with members of Stargate.  And I loved every bit of discovering these wonderful ideas from anonymous writers all over the world. 
Imagination is something to be encouraged and nurtured.  If you don't agree then try going without the internet for a few days, hell go without any electronic devices and you might soon change your mind.  Without imagination DaVinci wouldn't have dreamed of his flying machine, Alexander Graham Bell wouldn't have invented the telephone, Tolkien would never have created the lush world of Middle Earth.  We need to celebrate imagination and embrace it as something essential to life as we know it.
That's why I'm a fan of fanfiction.  'Cause it let's your mind enjoy other people's imaginations and ideas, it takes worlds and characters that you're familiar with and throws them into situations that are interesting, entertaining and often amusing.  It's a simple way to loose yourself in a fun little corner of the internet for a time and just let your brain ramble down the road of "what if".

Where's My Face?

Since January I've been afflicted with the most irritating skin disorder of my life to date.  Rosacea.  It's a surprisingly common skin condition and a pain in the ass.  Thankfully I don't have a very bad dose of it but it's persistent and only a two month course of medication will shift it, along with doctors orders to not wash it with anything other than water.  I'm also under orders to not apply moisturiser or make up!
So for the past two months I didn't feel like heading out for a night out because I didn't want to put on make up and possibly prolong this annoying, bumpy rash on my face.  I'd refused to let anyone take photos of me and found myself reluctant to socialise in a public setting with people.  Then my wonderful, darling husband said something to make me stop and re-evaluate my behaviour, "You're always beautiful to me."  No words are sweeter to your ears when you're feeling down about how you look.
So I sucked it up and went out to meet a friend in the pub a few weeks ago, accidentally picking a night that the pub would be packed with football fans for the match!  I groaned when I saw the sign outside the door and realised that our quiet night out was going to be anything but.  As tempting as it might be to turn around and head somewhere else in that situation I implore you not too.  Grit your pearly whites and keep moving forward.  It's worth it.
That evening was a short one as we didn't have dinner before we headed out but it was great to catch up with my friend who I hadn't seen in a while and hear about the wonderful things that were going on in their life.  And I completely forgot that I had what looked like bad acne on my cheek or that I wasn't wearing make up.  I felt like myself again; chatting away and catching up on all the gossip that I'd missed, never once feeling self concious while I was talking to them and delighting in the feeling of being out and about again.
I've been accused of caring too much about what others think but that wasn't why I was so down about having rosacea.  There is this impossible picture in my head of the person I want to be, and I doubt I'm the only one with this.  I want to be someone that is so much more than how I see myself, someone who can make others people's lives better by being a part of it, someone who is to be aspired to.  Maybe one day I'll get there but in all honesty I doubt it.  That impossible picture is the best version of myself, without all those little flaws that make a person human.  If I were to ever achieve it what else is there to work for?  
And yes I dread the idea of being that perfect version of myself even as I work towards it.  Because who I am now is someone that my friends enjoy talking to, whose advice or idiot comments help (even if it's not in the way that I was aiming for).  Who I am is what I have to work with and lamenting the lack of perfection is like saying that I don't deserve what I have now.  The things I have now I've worked for and whether or not I deserve them in the grand scheme of things is irrelevant to me, because I'm not giving them up.
Perfection is boring, I'll stick with being weird and interesting thank you.

Storytime

I like stories.  Interesting characters and intertwining plots, dumb decisions that make you roll your eyes and silly shenanigans that make you laugh.  TV, film, books, hell even the Eurovision can give you a story.  In case you don't believe me on the Eurovision front just look at Serbia's or Australia's entry for this years contest.  When watching we came to the decision that Australia's song was just too good for Eurovision, also how is Australia part of Europe?!
Moving on; stories are the basis of life as far as I'm concerned.  Every culture on Earth has myths and legends that are at the core of their culture.  The best way to learn about a different culture is to read or listen to some of their stories.  Watch the films that come out of other countries instead of only ones direct from Hollywood.  Personally I've been enjoying going back and watching some old Jackie Chan martial art movies from Hong Kong, my favourite so far is Legend of The Drunken Master. 
And it highlights exactly what I mean.  The first time I watched that film I found some things weird, there was particular emphasis put on strange places in the dialogue or action than what you'd seen in western movies.  But it was great because it led to a fascinating conversation with my movie buff husband and my story buff drinking buddy about filming and storytelling for different audiences.
That conversation lasted two days and we still keep popping back to it every once in a while.  Sharing the bits that we found most interesting (for me is was the seriously impressive fight choreography and the great camera work that showcased it) is the best way to find out more.  I learn so much more about things, namely working in film, when those two get going.  It also gives me a nice feeling when I contribute a point that neither of them had thought of which makes me smiles and feel like I know more than I do.
I've been writing a story for a few years now and it's nice to think that I'm learning how to share an interesting plot with others without being repetitive or dull.  Still nervous about sharing it with others though.  It's one thing to share my thoughts here in a semi-anonymous setting but to actively give someone my original story and leave myself open for criticism or ridicule.  It's a very scary thought to me.  I don't have a thick skin (I've tried to develop one but it's a bit of a lost clause) and to have someone pick apart my story that I worked on and put effort into is one of my biggest fears.
No one likes to fail and I've always thought I can tell a good story, so to maybe share it with others who'll take delight in tearing it down is terrifying for me.  But I'm still writing and someday I do want to share it with others because I like to hear what people think, I like the different perspectives that clashing personalities bring to the table and I love hearing someone saying that they liked something I wrote or they thought it was funny/interesting.

The Two Most Infuriating Words For A Writer

Take a wild guess what I'm talking about.  Any takers?  No?  

 "Just write."  

Yup, that helpful piece of advice that every writer has heard at some point in their life.  It's especially irritating when you're suffering from a dose of writers block and someone turns around to say "Just keep writing"  It makes you want to pull your hair out, even if sometimes it is the only way to get past the block.
So I'm changing it.  
If someone asks me for advice about writing (I'm not an expert but I like to write) I tell them to put the pen down, step away from the computer, get out in the fresh air or take part in a riveting conversation and let your brain take a break from what's blocking you. 
Your subconscious will keep thinking on what you're writing, especially if it's something close to your heart, so let it do it's job.  Give it time, not too much though because then you run the risk of losing momentum on what you're writing.  When you're ready, come back with fresh eyes and mind to where your stuck and go from there.  
Sometimes you can get past the block in your story/review/blogpost/journal if you backtrack a few sentences and let your mind take you on a slightly different path.  Don't be afraid to switch tracks.  Take a breath and run with it, if you've taken a break from writing and when you come back you find what your saying has changed don't fight it.  That's the path your amazing subconscious imagination has figured out to help you past this.  
Run with it.  Embrace it because without these changes there would be no improv in life, nothing new, no amazing works of art or killer music, no sweeping stories or the multitude of quotable movie lines that we have now!
What do I do when I get writers block?
I read fanfiction, play puzzles on-line, kick back with a drink and indulge in a ludicrous conversation that embraces the absurd, hell if I'm visiting my parents at the time I play with the dogs!
So my three words of advice for writers boils down to this "Take a break."

The Absense Of Cake

So I joined Slimming World a couple of weeks ago with one of my friends.  I'm torn about the whole thing.  On the one hand Yay! I'm losing weight (8 pounds in 2 weeks) but on the other hand less cake.  Okay so the post title is a bit of a lie because I do have some cake, just not to the same extent that I used to.  *sigh* I miss the yummy goodness of cake, being able to grab it from the fridge and not care about where it would end up be it hips, butt or belly.
Diets have always been a complete waste of time for me because my diet is quite limited.  I eat mostly by texture so it first has to feel good to eat then it has to taste good.  The perfect example of this I can give is scallops.  A few years ago I went to dinner with my boyfriend (who's now my husband) and tried one of the scallops he ordered.  The taste was heavenly, a delicious blend of flavours that I can't even begin to describe, but the texture nearly made me throw up in the restaurant!  Nearly being the important word in that sentence people.
I tried Weight Watchers to stay healthy and yeah hopefully look good but it was a struggle.  I'm much preferring the Slimming World approach because halleluia I can eat as much rice as I want!  Me likey my stir fries.
It's weird to have lost as much as I have in such a short amount of time, honestly I don't feel as though I've even lost half that but it's a good feeling to know I'm doing something for myself that will make me feel good about how I look.  And the best part is that I find when I know I can have as much of certain things as I'd like I don't gorge myself on chocolate and cake like I used to.  Sometimes just being told that something is okay and it's alright to fuck up makes you feel like you can achieve your goals.

Lost In Limbo

My website has been off-line for nearly a month now and I still haven't gotten a solid answer back from the web hoster I that can afford.  So I'm starting a personal blog to keep me occupied and just stay in practice of putting stuff out there.  
This isn't going to be the most coherent of blogs, like the title of this post suggests I feel like I'm floating in limbo now and am kind of lost as to what direction I want to go in.  Is my website being out of reach a sign to pack it in with trying to start my own business?  Should I continue writing the story that's been swirling in my brain for years and is half written in pieces on my computer?  Maybe I should just ignore everything else and stick with what I've been doing for months now and keep job hunting.
It sucks, this direction-less void that I'm trapped in.  My mind is filled with thoughts too varied to understand and too weird to put into words.  I hate when someone asks me what I'm thinking because often I don't even know and the answer they get is something that my Acme influenced brain will pull out of the ether. 
So I'm starting fresh here.  If you're looking for a blog with a theme or focus point you're out of luck because I'm going to treat this space as my playground and dump what I think here.  If you choose to read, thank you and I hope that you like what you find here or it is at least interesting to you. 
Tally-ho chaps.